Things My mom would never let me tell you about her…AKA: This is my mom

There are many things we learn and know about our moms as we get older, I think especially as daughters because these are our first figures of ‘womanhood.’ I think a lot about this as I look at my own son and daughter and want to make sure they grow up healthy and happy.

Things about my mom that I marvel at:

  1. My mom has a strength that is undeniable. She got married to my Dad at 19, while pregnant with me (she was 20 when I was born), on a Friday the 13th, AND they went camping for their honeymoon!!! They are still married today and I had a pretty amazing childhood even with the bumps and bruises that happen. She is the youngest of all of her siblings and has always exuded this strength and responsibility that isn’t always seen in the youngest child. I am amazed at what my mom (and my dad too- but Father’s Day is next month J) has done with her life and what she was able to give to me in mine…I started having kids several years later than she did and as I turn the same age she was when I graduated from High School- I marvel at what she imparted on me throughout my childhood…my mom really is my strength and the person I go to when I need my best friend.
  2. She is ALWAYS going to ‘mom’ me….my mom has always wanted to make sure I’m the best person I can be and doing the right thing….she still, to this day (and mind you I’m shy of my 39th birthday and have 2 kids of my own!) will question what I’m doing and make sure I’m not meeting random people on Facebook in person because you know…it’s dangerous. As much as it makes me crazy- I also know it’s from a place of love and now I can say to her what I couldn’t as a kid: “Seriously?! What kind of person do you think I am? Did you raise me to be like that?!” 🙂
  3. I am thankful that I get to have her mom me- I remember when my Grandma Carmen died- vividly.  As I’ve gotten older and have seen other friends lose their moms and have gotten to hold onto mine- I realize how precious time is…I’ve learned that from my mom. I have gotten with my mom something she didn’t get to have with hers- I’ve gotten to go from kid to adult-kid to adult-friend-kid…we are truly friends and it is amazing…and I feel really guilty still for all the mornings I argued with her and was a general shit…and especially for all the times I ‘hated’ her…
  4. My mom is perfectly fine being herself…and she doesn’t care who knows or sees it. My mom timed her ‘I only want to wear sweats when I’m not at work’ phase for when I was in middle school. My mom dragged my red-faced, snotty, hormonal, embarrassed self out to do errands or go shopping wearing the most goofy outfits (she’s tall and she didn’t care that her pants were high waters, weren’t colors that should be worn together, etc.). My mom was all business and she taught me that it’s not the clothes that make the woman- but the woman who has the confidence that makes the woman. My mom taught me to look past things that weren’t important and how to accept people as they are.
  5. My mom treated me with the upmost respect when it came to making decisions about my body. She was honest with me from a young age about what it meant to be a woman and decisions we had to make that weren’t the same as boys. One day in the car, she told me that if I was in a place that I needed to have permission to go to my Doctor and get birth control- she would support me in that decision. I was in a pretty serious relationship and had already gone to Planned Parenthood to take care of that for myself- because of what my mom taught me, and I had already lost my virginity. I told her as much in that conversation and we had a really nice talk about it. I have always trusted my mom with things that are scary and I’m thankful beyond everything for that. The same couldn’t be said about when I was getting a bad grade…I’m sorry I lied about all the times I wasn’t doing well in math!
  6. Family is important- love and accept the people that were given to you through blood. As I said, my mom is the youngest (of 5)…we lived next door to my grandmother when she passed in a tragic way. I was about 4, so my mom was about 24 (now, think about what you were like at 24….). She took on all of the coordination that was associated with my grandmother’s passing and dealing with the family property for the next few decades.  She loves and accepts her siblings and family as they are (not that it isn’t difficult at times)- on both sides of my family- and let me tell you- both sides are incredibly quirky!
  7. Humor is a gift. My mom comes from a long line of goofiness…I LOVE when she laughs, I LOVE when we get to that point laughing where we can’t talk and we both have tears streaming down our faces. My mom and I don’t really look alike (I look like my dad without a doubt)…but when we are laughing- I look just like her!
  8. My mom cannot bake a boxed cake…we still laugh to this day about the cherry chip brick she baked when I was seven….the same age I was when I took over baking for the family…I LOVE baking stuff still to this day- thanks to my mom!
  9. A burger from Dicks tastes the best when I get to share it with my mom! Whenever my dad travelled for work when I was a kid, my mom and I would go get burgers and shakes from Dicks and watch “Strange Brew.” Our time doing that was something I looked forward to more than anything when I knew my dad would be gone.  Our little things like this are why I have things I share with my two kiddos.
  10. My mom is the most beautiful woman to me. She doesn’t always (if ever) see in herself what makes her beautiful and wonderful- she just is who she is (she will tell you this as well). She and I couldn’t look more different and I remember looking at her as I was growing up wishing I had her blond hair, her height (she’s still taller than me!), and her tiny waist! She in turn always told me I was beautiful just as I am as she waved off my compliments.  She laughs off when you point out her physical beauty (but is more accepting of compliments on her inner beauty). I wish she could see herself as I see her.

I love you mom, every day. I am so incredibly proud to get to be your daughter and I hope to pass on what you taught me to M and B. You are amazing and I know Grandma Carmen looks down and sees it- because you really, really, REALLY are!

Love,

Amanda

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~ by itisalwayssomething on May 11, 2014.

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